How to Chat With Girls Online: A Guide for the Shy Guy

If you’re like me, then you’ve probably found yourself staring at your computer screen and thinking, “How do I talk to girls online?” Whether it’s on a dating site or in an online chat room, there are some things that every guy should know before they start chatting with (and possibly meeting) a girl. Here are my top five tips for all the shy guys out there:

1. Don’t be a creep

OK, so you’re not a creep. Good for you! But what does that mean in the context of internet dating? Well, it’s pretty simple: don’t be too personal or aggressive. Don’t ask questions that make the other person feel uncomfortable (like their age or where they live), and don’t pass judgment on people based on their answers to such questions. If someone tells you they’re 26 years old, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them—it just means that’s how old they are! And if someone says they live in India instead of America or Canada, don’t say something like “Oh my god I would never date an Indian girl/guy because Indian men/women are weird.” It makes us all look bad as humans.

If you think someone is being creepy towards you (i.e., sending inappropriate pictures or asking personal questions), block them!

2. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you

There’s an old saying that goes, “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” This applies very well to online chatting as well. When meeting someone for the first time, whether it be in person or over the internet, it’s important that they feel comfortable around you so that they can open up and share things with you just like anybody else would do with a friend of theirs who was just getting to know them better.

The easiest way to make someone feel comfortable around us when we’re meeting them for the first time is by being ourselves instead of pretending like we’re someone else entirely different from who we actually are (like most people tend towards doing). The key here is authenticity—if she can tell from your conversation style alone that she doesn’t really relate with what’s going on then chances are high that she won’t want any part in continuing further down this road either way! So don’t try too hard because it will only come across as fake and unauthentic which could cause her distrustful feelings towards making another attempt at talking again later on down the line.”

3. Be playful

You’re likely to find that the more you’re yourself and less worried about what others think of you, the easier it will be to connect with girls online. You don’t have to be an expert at making witty jokes or comebacks but do try to avoid being too serious all the time. Girls like guys who are able to make them laugh and having fun is one of the best ways to do this!

4. Tease and flirt with her

You may have heard that teasing is a good way to flirt with girls online. This can be true, but don’t overdo it. You don’t want her to think you’re a jerk!

Instead, use teasing as a way of showing interest and demonstrating that you are comfortable with the girl. If she says something silly or embarrassing, don’t show outright amusement – instead, just tease her about it and ask what happened next.

For example: “I didn’t know you could do that!” (teasing)

She might respond by saying something like “it was no big deal” or something like that (denial), which will likely make her seem more vulnerable than she intended; this helps make your task easier because now she’ll probably say something silly again (eagerness).

5. Be mindful about what you share online (including your profile pic)

  • Be mindful of what you share online (including your profile pic).
  • The first thing a girl will see when you message her is your profile pic, so make sure it’s something that represents who you are as a person. The same goes for any other photos or videos you post on social media. It should be obvious that if you post a selfie with another girl or guy in bed, no one will think “Oh cool! He’s just being friendly!”
  • Be mindful of what information about yourself and your life is available publicly on social media. Personally, I try not to put any identifying information on my public profile (just in case), but other people may feel differently about this depending on how comfortable they feel sharing their personal details with strangers online.
  • Be mindful of what hobbies and interests are listed on common dating sites like Tinder, OkCupid, etc., as these can help determine compatibility with potential matches before even meeting face-to-face for coffee dates later down the road – remember: nothing beats face-to-face interaction!


I hope this guide has given you a solid understanding of how to start chatting with girls online. If you’ve been nervous about reaching out to women, don’t worry—the best thing that can happen is for them to ignore your message or block it together! It means they just didn’t feel like talking at the time, which is totally fine. Just keep trying until one day it clicks and leads to something more meaningful. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea—so don’t be afraid if one turns out not worth your time! Find your dream girl here: HotLive